


what was broken

by El_Por0



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fantasy, Fights, Past Katarina x Riven, Slow Burn, War, depictions of violence, ill tag what will happen when it actually happens, we gotta build up the characters first but i promise smut later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:48:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Por0/pseuds/El_Por0
Summary: Riven is alone once more. The only family she knew was lost, all for power. On the brink of death, she meets the one person who could either save or destroy her.





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> This fic follows Riven's lore but it'll have my little twists to it. The story happens after Riven's last mission for Noxus. After the chemical gas kills the army she led, she now wanders Ionia without direction. 
> 
> Italics are the character's thoughts. The line breaks in this story indicate a change in POV. 
> 
> Below is a link to a crudely drawn layout of Irelia's house that I made in case my description wasn't clear enough. Fair warning, I was not made for interior design or for art in general but I tried.

She was never a stranger to war. She had grown up with it, had seen people die on the streets; whether it was out of poverty or wounds from battle. The latter was usually preferred.

But this time it was different.

The effects of the gas were long gone now. The effects of war faded behind with each step, but the faces of the dead continued to haunt her.

She remembered her brothers and sisters in arms, her family. At least when the gas still fogged her mind, she could blurr their bravery before battle. She could blurr the courage as they strided towards a vain death.

But here, with the fog of war gone, only she is left once more. No matter how much memories are repressed, their melting faces never leave her mind.

_Gas seeping into flesh and bone until it liquified everything and everyone._

Her mind wouldn’t stop running in circles. Why did she have to survive? Why did her blade have to shield her from the gas?

Even when she tried to shield her family it was too late. By then, the toxic fumes had already dissolved flesh. In mere moments, despite the protection of her shield, she saw life fade in a matter of seconds.

It would have been better if she just died in combat. That way she could atone in some way, she could atone for the lives she had taken. But now she had to suffer and live.

Even if she didn’t feel anything, it didn’t change the fact that she was alone once more. Alone and responsible for the death of her loved ones.

She didn’t even know how to fix things. How to even fix herself when her mind was her worst enemy.

It had been simple in the past. It was simple to believe in the illusion that she had finally found family, that they were fighting for a shared goal. A goal that could lead people to unity under Noxus.

But she was wrong.

It wasn’t about the glory or unity. It was about power.

Noxus was vast yet there was always a desire for more. There was only one way to attain everything. It was a message that was drilled even into even the orphans; amass as much power until only none could oppose Noxus. It didn’t matter how they could achieve this so long as they could conquer all who defied them.

Those who couldn’t follow that rule would die. Or wallow away in poverty.

And the first of many steps for more power was Ionia. Ionia itself lacked any military, their government was decentralized. Instead the Ionians believed in peace and the flow of magic in everything. Of course, Noxus would prey after them. By Noxian standards, Ionia was weak.

She never knew where she was going. All she knew was that she needed to escape. With each step, she left the battlefield further and further away. Yet no matter how far she walked, her memories would always resurface. Even now, in a place surrounded by life and dense forests.

It had been 3 days since the incident and now she treaded through a forest that was light with the scent of pine and air. But despite the scent, she couldn’t help but remember the scent of rotting flesh mixed with the foreign smell of chemicals.

The sun was high and bright, a sign of a new day. But instead all she can remember is a cold afternoon, clouded and raining. She could almost hear the squeak of the wheels on the caravan as it groaned with the weight of its deadly cargo. She could almost feel the footsteps of her fellow soldiers, the casual back and forth of conversation as they unknowingly marched towards their death… For Noxus.

Soon, the battlefield would be fogged with Zaunite chemicals... And all it took was one stray arrow.

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply; silently trying to will away her memories.

Even when the battle was over, she was sickened. It wasn’t just how white hair matted to her forehead; she was disgusted with her naivety. She was disgusted by the people she trusted.

Her legs felt heavy as she continued to trudge through the forest, dried sweat and blood made her clothes cling uncomfortably.

Exhaustion now seeped into her bones while the burn of hunger ached low in her gut. Her head pounded; the dizziness was a welcome interruption from her thoughts. It was ironic how suffering became the only distraction where she was free from her broken mind.

She stumbled once more and lost her balance, this time over a small root that jutted out of the ground.

Her body thumped almost lifelessly against the soft earth as she landed on her side. Pain wracked against her side and only now did she notice warm blood seeping out of her.

For a moment she laid on the ground, russet eyes met the sky as she laid on the verge of death. Just beside her rested that same sword, the weapon that saved her. A tool of war which saw the change from orphan to soldier.

 _This is it. This is where I die._ And yet Riven can’t bring herself to care anymore. The pain didn’t even register anymore, she was numb yet peaceful.

To an untrained person, they wouldn’t have heard the soft footfall against the ground. Those footsteps were light, so light it barely registered for Riven until she saw an intricate leather boot guarded with sharp twisting metal.

Her gaze followed up the boot, past red skin-tight fabric only to meet almond blue eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

The Noxian lay dying at her feet. A part of Irelia just wanted to finish the job, this was just another person she would slaughter for spilling the blood of her people.

Their eyes met but that gaze held none of the usual Noxian defiance.

Instead those eyes were rusted and empty. The person in front of her was but a ghost in a shell. 

The woman was young but Irelia was not surprised. War striked the young and it molded those who survived it into something else. It molded people into something they never thought of, changing people into creatures they never wanted to be.

“Just do it.” The Noxian said, her voice hollow of any emotion, lacking any fear of death.  

 _Ready to accept death_.

It would be easy. With a flick of the wrist, her blades would cut through skin and bone. There would be no pain, she’d make sure of it.

Her hand lifted and the blades followed, mimicking the movement of her soul.

The stranger lay waiting but there was no blood lust, instead she merely collapsed. Her head lolled to the side, either from exhaustion or hunger finally taking its toll.

Irelia’s blade froze, one inch away from the jugular of the woman’s throat.

A part of her just wanted to kill, yet she knew that it would do no good. There was a craving, maybe a foolish craving in her soul that long for balance… and how would violence solve that?

Irelia could have left her there, but she knew it wasn’t right. Deep inside, she was still Ionian. She strove for balance and peace. More blood shed would not accomplish that.

Her instincts screamed at her. _Just leave her to die._ But she couldn’t.

A dark part of her, one that simply accepted the act of war, wouldn’t feel guilt.

Instead Irelia hefted the woman gently in her arms and started the treck back . The woman in her arms was well-muscled and heavy that Irelia’s arms dully ached as she neared the house.

Her home was modest, the one place she could escape. The limbs of massive birch trees weaved in and out, forming the foundation and walls of the house.  Inside, it was almost empty save for the essentials.

The living room was devoid of any remnants of her family. Instead there was only a single futon in the center. Just beside the bed was a low table where she took her breakfast.

Bissecting her house were shoji doors that led to the guest room… in the rare event where she would have a guest.

_Never thought it would be a Noxian though._

Irelia pulled back the doors and gently deposited the stranger into the spare futon. The room felt oddly stuffy. Irelia opened up the doors which led to the garden. A slight breeze came in, so fresh that she briefly forgot of the person in her house.

The sun had already begun to set when she arrived, painting the sky a shade of blues, pinks and yellows.

For a moment, Irelia didn’t know what to do. There was a stranger, barely breathing in her house and lying down on the bed as if nothing happened.

Clumsily bandaged wounds had already started to leak red.

Irelia did the first thing that came to mind. She filled a bowl of cool water and dabbed away at the dirt and blood that coated the other woman. Her house was bare except for the essentials, and one of these essentials was gauze and medicine. She gathered some gauze and cleaned what wounds she could find.

With each swipe, dirt gave way to tan skin. The black war paint the woman bore around her eyes, washed away with the water, giving the other woman a peaceful look.

Bathed in the light of the setting sun, it was hard to believe that this person murdered thousands.

Apart from the armour the woman wore, the insignia of Noxus stamped white and faded on the shoulder guard; It was almost hard to believe that this stranger was Noxian.

Irelia fetched a cup of water and tilted it into the woman’s mouth. Even if only a few drops went in, it should be enough for now.

A trickle of water escaped only for a tanned, scarred hand to cup her own, urging more water into her mouth.

The woman desperately gulped and when she spoke once more, her voice was rough. “Why did you let me live?”

The question is heavy, as heavy as the burden on her shoulders. A tinge of curiosity mixed with wariness coats stranger’s tone.

_It’s almost as if she wants to die._

“A part of me wanted you dead when I thought of all those who fell before your blade but… What good would it do? You did not fight. You were empty and waited for death.”

Irelia continued. “Pointless bloodshed isn’t going to bring my parents back. It’s not going to restore the balance that Ionia lost.” Irelia paused not quite looking the stranger in the eye. Instead she focused on removing bloodstained gauze and cleaning the wounds beneath.

The wound on the woman’s arm was the worst. A deep gash that languidly bled. She didn’t need to be a village healer to know that it would need stitches. Coating a clean wash cloth in alcohol, Irelia gazed at the stranger. “This is going to hurt.”

She expected the woman to cry out. Or at least groan in pain but all Irelia got was an exhale as she wiped at the gash.

Irelia took a deep breathe, blood used to make her nautious but not anymore. Her fingers made quick work of the needle and thread. With a motion that could only come with practice, the needle sunk into skin, weaving and mending flesh together once more.

It was a welcome distraction as she staved off the sadness that crept in. The peace of Ionia was in the past and if she looked back… she was lost.

The woman was quiet, her expression unreadable. Slowly taking in Irelia’s words, the stranger spoke once more. “How do you know I won’t hurt you?”

“Because you’re too weak right now.” Irelia gestured to the other wound at the woman’s side. “Look, you can barely move.”

The silence pervaded before Irelia spoke.

“Make no mistake. When you are better, I am taking you to the Enlightened One. Your fate is not for me to decide. It is for Ionia.”

With that Irelia finished bandaging those wounds. The Noxian gazed back at her yet there was still no fight. It was… peculiar.

“Who are you, Noxian?” The sentence leaves Irelia as less of a question and more of a command.

The woman frowned, what words that escaped her were bitter and sad. “I am Noxian no longer.”

“Then who are you?”

“I am no one.”

Irelia frowned. “Then give me a name.”

“Riven.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the link to a pic of the layout of Irelia's house:
> 
> https://www.flickr.com/photos/163435972@N07/33820951428/in/dateposted-public/


	2. Fate

“You never told me your name before.”

“Irelia. Xan Irelia.”

Riven supposed that was the only reply she’d get out of Irelia. Once Irelia had finished bandaging her wounds, she had went to the kitchen, already packing away the supplies.

Instinctively, Riven’s hand reached out towards her side, needing the heavy weight to ground her. Instead her hand came back empty and cold.

“Where’s my sword?”

Irelia’s back still turned away from Riven. “I kept it.”

Riven was silent for a moment. Before, she would never have wanted to part with that sword but now… it was a burden; a reminder of what happened along mudded earth. A reminder of how she led her family to die.

“You can have it.” Riven said.

“…Why?”

“Just keep it.”

Irelia finally faced her.  “I’m only keeping it until you recover and after I take you to the Enlightened One. What happens to your sword after that is for her to decide.”

Days passed but Irelia remained aloof, as if she didn’t know what to do with the person in her house. Riven couldn’t blame her, she didn’t even know what to do with herself.

In silence, Irelia made sure Riven was cared for but still, Irelia had a distance about her. Still, Riven was grateful.

Within a couple days, Riven felt better. Better enough to stand up and walk around the house with only a slight limp in her step and the occasional grimace.

Night had darkened the sky an inky black where only a few stars peaked out. Irelia walked up to her, a cup of tea in hand. 

“Thank you. I…” Riven took it gently, sipping on the herbal tea. She tried to bide time, gather her thoughts and  _finally_ _speak_ but the only thing she could say was thank you. It wasn't just about the tea but for everything. Yet Riven couldn’t talk. For if she said more, she knew she would break at the seams.

Irelia nodded before slipping away to her futon and blowing out the candle.

They both knew it was useless to run. Riven owned nothing but the tattered clothes on her back. Irelia was quicker and stronger, she could easily outrun the injured woman.

With Irelia’s care, Riven recovered and only now felt a dull ache in her legs when she moved. The gash on her side and on her arm would surely scar but they would heal nicely so long as no pressure was put on it.

In the early hours of the morning, when the sun was only starting to rise, they both knew what would happen.

“It’s time.” Irelia said in a tone that bore no argument.

Innately Riven knew where they were going. The only thing she could do was nod in resignation.

Despite Riven’s muscular frame, Irelia gave her clothes that were a bit too big. A brown tunic draped over her form while she donned dark blue loose pants that were tied together by a drawstring. All in all, she was swimming in fabric. The only thing Riven kept from her old clothes were her boots.

She gazed at herself in the mirror. She knew these were clothes fit for a farmer, probably made for a man who towered at least a head over her.

Riven’s old clothes laid in a pile, just beside the door leading to the garden. It was almost surreal to see herself clothed in Ionian garb. 

Irelia rose from the table and went towards the closet, only to drag a sword almost as tall as she was and as wide as a kite shield. The blade remained tightly enclosed in its scabbard, sealed until Riven’s touch could awaken it once more.  

Riven’s hand outstretched. “I can carry it if it pleases you.”

“It’s fine. Besides, we’re not dragging this all the way to the temple. There’s a carriage outside.”

True to Irelia’s word, a small carriage sat outside the house while a turtle bird waited for them. It was a curious thing, a carriage which had the body of a boat and wheels attached to each side.

Irelia hefted the large blade in the back. But that’s not what drew Riven’s attention. It was the empty bags and a fisherman’s net that rested with her blade.

“What are those for?” Riven asked.

“There’s an orphanage near here and we have to pass through the marshes to get to the temple. I thought we’d gather some food for the orphans because they don’t have a carriage to actually get there.”

Irelia said it like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Riven’s gaze trailed down, the reminder of how different their cultures were was almost stifling. “That’s very generous of you. I’ve… never seen that happen in Noxus.”

It was a vast contrast to what Riven was used to. She saw orphans dying on the street. She saw orphans strive to work on farms, where each crop that was grown would mostly serve the military. Anything beyond survival could only come through war.  

Orphanages were seldom heard in Noxus. No one cared about those children. Noxus merely cared about what those children could do.

She remembered begging on the street only to be brought to a farm to serve. When they offered try outs for the military Riven jumped at the chance. Noxus painted this grand picture of unity. And she latched onto the first idea of family.

The turtle bird dragged the carriage through the water, riven barely noticed until she heard the tell-tale splash of water.

There was something strange about the land, as if it were a living entity that could sense each person that came. Riven looked at the water which never seemed to flow in one direction. Instead the current would change every so often as if it were guided by some mysterious force.

Irelia’s voice cut through Riven’s thoughts. “It’s magic you know. The land gives back but it’s dictated by the spirits.”  

Irelia stepped over her seat and gathered the net in her arms before passing it to Riven.  “I could never predict what the spirits would give but I sometimes know where to look when it arrives.”

Riven tried to see what Irelia meant but… there was nothing. The waves continued to shift aimlessly. Irelia appeared to see something different.

Irelia urged the turtle bird up ahead, pointing towards a continuously shifting spot. “Cast the net over there.”

For a moment, Riven clumsily tried to get a proper hold of the net before tossing it. Only when the net complete sink did Riven start to pull. She didn’t expect to get anything but there was weight to the net now. She dragged the net, pulling it up only to find astonishing amount of fruit now.

It was a green fruit, plump and ready to eat.

They carried on that way as they treaded through the marsh. Occasionally Irelia would stop and point while Riven would toss the rope and reel in. It was oddly calming, the calmest Riven had ever been since the incident.

A faint hurt flashed deep in her chest, the possibility of what could have been weighed on her.

Despite the impossibility of it all, Riven couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she ended up in Ionia before the Noxian invasion. Would they have accepted a daughter of Noxus? Would she have been able to live in peace? Would someone have cared enough about her?

Where the marshes ended, the temple sat atop a massive mountain. The mountain itself looked like the Earth itself decided to rise up. For a moment, Riven didn’t know how they would get up there until she saw steps carved into the rock.

Riven hopped off the wagon, already starting to walk before a hand gripped her forearm.

“Wait.” Irelia reached behind her, pulling out a set of metal cuffs that were clearly worn from age. “I cannot let you go without restraining you.”

They both knew what this meant but Irelia’s gaze never wavered. Wordlessly, Riven offered up her wrists and soon, she was bound.

Trees and flowers sprouted from the rocks as they both made their way up the stairs.

When they finally arrived at the very top, the sight threatened to steal what breathe Riven had. Every wall, every structure tried to co-exist with nature.

They walked through a massive hall interweaved with wooden arches and marble walls.

It was different from the intimidating architecture of Noxus. Instead, the Ionian temple was shaped in the form of what the land deemed. An intricate mix of nature and the essence of ionian culture.

Their footsteps clacked against the marble floors. Eventually, a massive mahogany door awaited them. Irelia took a deep breathe before pushing through and soon, they stood in front of Ionia’s judicial court.

Sunlight streamed through glass windows. Bathed in light, a beautiful woman sat at the end of the court. On each side she was surrounded by council men. It didn’t take a genius to see that she was the Enlightened One.

Her skin coloured a dark cocoa while her eyes seemed to see the soul. With one look, it was as if the Enlightened One could read Riven inside and out. The very fact was uncomfortable, as if she could peer into Riven’s soul and understand what Riven could not.

The clamour of councilmen and Ionians fell silent as Riven walked up the aisle.

“Do you know why you stand here, child of Noxus?” Even the Enlightened One’s voice commanded authority. As if with one word, the world would fall quiet.

“I’m here to be executed.”

The Enlightened One’s eyes widened in surprise, so brief that Riven thought she imagined it. “No… you’re here to be tried. I do not know how it is in Noxus but justice will be served on the backs of understanding and enlightenment.”

The Enlightened One continued. “The tribunal has gathered here to determine your fate. Our Commander testifies that you were found in the aftermath of an attack along the border. Can you confirm this to be true?”

Riven could feel her sins crawl down her spine. With every word from the Enlightened One’s mouth was a reminder of the destruction Riven caused.

“I do not remember.”

“How do you not remember?”

“What’s there to remember? Many Ionians and Noxians died at the border. That’s it.” Riven's tone was flat, careful to conceal emotion. In actuality, Riven was desperate. So desperate to never re-live her past. 

Riven knew how all this looked. To the councilmen, she seemed uncaring and without shame of her sin. But their views didn’t matter right now. What mattered was suppressing her memories before they could suffocate her.

The council surrounding the Enlightened One spoke in harsh whispers that gradually grew in volume. Each hushed word swarmed around Riven like locusts, eager to devour her. The volume grew almost to a fever pitch until one council member, an old decrepit man rose from his set.

The Elder yelled. “Noxian scum, have you no shame? Do you not care of the blood that was spilled in your filthy country’s name?!”

A dark part of Riven, one that emerged from her time on the battlefield, roared in her head. _Kill those who oppose you. This man thinks he can belittle you when he himself knows nothing!_

Instead Riven took a deep breathe, trying to calm her destructive thoughts as the noise continued to rise

Some people wanted justice. Others called for blood. A rotten tomato pelted Riven atop the head; rancid juice streamed down from cheekbone to neck. She tried not to wretch at the smell, of the reminder of death and rotting flesh that seemed to crawl down her throat.

“ENOUGH! I will have balance brought to this court.” The Enlightened One spoke once more. “Have you been here before?”

“I do not remember.” Riven said.

“How long have you been here?”

“I cannot remember”

There was no cruelty in Karma’s voice, only a boundless patience. “You cannot remember or you do not want to remember?”

Riven was silent. A simple sentence chipped away at the walls of her mind. She had tried to repress her memories but soon they bubbled to the surface.

Surrounding Riven wasn’t just the tribunal, it was the faces she lost in battle. Their gaze was empty as they silently studied her, awaiting what would happen next. Each face awoke a memory, memories she desperately wanted to forget.

“Please just… stop.” Riven whispered. She didn't know who she spoke to. Whether it was towards the spirits of the fallen or the councilmen. Her hands remained bound and all she could do was force her eyes shut, not wanting to look her past in the face.

“War destroys many things. Some of them are not seen but they are no less serious.” The Enlightened One’s eyes softened, a shadow of empathy. “The tribunal is dismissed. We will come to a decision on the morrow. For now, Riven shall remain under watch. The sword shall be guarded and kept.”

Guards surrounded Riven on every side. Roughly, she was tugged out the door and down a staircase; lower and lower until there was no light to be seen. A torch was lit, and yet the cell was still damp and dark.

The guard, a man twice her height shoved her in a cell, locking the door in a hurry; as if Riven would dart out and escape. Her shackles never came off and slowly, she waited alone; with only the company of her mind.

 

* * *

 

 

Irelia frowned as the guards escorted Riven out. Those guards practically dragged Riven by the cuffs out of the court, shoving her through the mahogany doors. The very sight caused a brief flutter of anger in her chest. But Irelia couldn’t dwell on this, her job was done here and Riven’s fate wasn’t for her to decide. Just as Irelia was to leave, Karma called out for her to stay.

They were the only two people left in the hall.  
  
“Her mind is shattered. Her soul is empty.” Karma said as she came down from the throne. Standing in front of Irelia, at eye-level, Karma was almost human instead of the manifestation of the spirit.

“I know.” Irelia said.  “Do you think she can do harm?”

“It remains to be seen. I don’t want to dismiss the possibility but… We have to keep watch of her and that is where I ask you for a favour.”

“What do you need?”

“I want to ask if she could be placed under your care for the time being.”

Irelia blinked once, twice. Trying to determine if she heard right. “…What?”

“You have served just and well as commander; some people have even chosen you as the true leader.” Karma continued. “You already exemplify what it means to be Ionian. At the very least, you don’t have any malicious intent for the Exile. Therefore, you are the only one I can trust with this… situation.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then she rots in a cell. There’s no one here asides from you, I and the tribunal that know of her. You’ve seen the reaction the Exile’s presence caused, no one will care for her. They may even delight in her death.”

Irelia heaved a sigh. “So, she stays with me… and then what?”

“I will announce it when the council gathers once more. For now, you are dismissed.”

 

* * *

  
  


Riven approached the center of the hall once more. Karma looked as regal as ever atop her throne. The hall seemed to sit in silence, as if waiting for the judgement that would ultimately end Riven’s life.

Her back ached from the stone-cold cell, her eyes gazed tiredly about the court, ready for her sentence.

The Enlightened One spoke from her throne. “I have come to a decision. The Exile shall do hard labour. She shall repair the damages Noxus has done. In addition, she will speak on what information she has on Noxus.”

The Enlighted One looked at Riven, her gaze unwavering. Despite the exhaustion, that same gaze made Riven stand up straighter. “If you miselead or act against Ionia in anyway, you will be executed.”

The elder, the same one who had shouted at Riven spoke from his seat. “How will we know if she acts against Noxus?”

The Enlightened One drew a deep breathe in. “Commander Xan will keep watch over Riven.”

“Even with Commander Xan, we do not know what the Exile is capable of! The court demands justi—”

“Justice is served when I deem it, Elder Joong.” Karma’s tone was pure steel. It bore no argument. “The sword shall also remain here until further notice. Dismissed.”

One by one, council men slipped out. Some of them stayed, their gaze lingering on the foreigner before they shuffled out.

Irelia approached Riven, key in hand. With too much gentleness, a gentleness Riven didn’t feel like she deserved; Irelia unlocked the metal cuffs. Riven’s wrists were raw and red where the metal had chafed. But all that paled in comparison to the numbness she felt.

Riven was actually alive. She was shown _mercy._ Something that was never granted in Noxus yet here, a foreigner with the original intent to conquer, was shown mercy. The very fact made her want to cry.

Irelia started to walk down the aisle, Riven could only follow. The walk down the mountain was painfully silent. Time seemed to past all too slow and fast, by now the sun had already start to set. They settled at the base of the mountain, surrounded by trees which sprouted from rock, a light dusting of grass met their feet.

The carriage was without turtle bird. Irelia looked in her surrounding before settling on a massive tree. She clucked her tongue and whispered. “ _Kontei.”_

Riven only knew the basics of Ionian. Most of them were commands. She herself thought it was an order but instead, the faint glimmer of the turtle bird walked _through_ the tree trunk.

Irelia’s sat at the carriage and looked at Riven expectantly. “Take the fruit we harvested and start putting it into the bags. We’re heading to the orphanage.“

They treaded through the clear water, past the marshes only to pass through a field. In that field sat a small house, which rested atop a massive tree. Distantly, she could see the small figures of children playing through the fields as a priestess watched over them.

Upon seeing the carriage, the children ran toward them; completely unaware of the war that happened just beyond the border. They never knew that slowly Noxus was closing in and soon, war would steal everything they had.

Riven handed a bag of fruit to a little girl. Her face was puffed and red from running around but the happiness she exuded was contagious. A small smile made its way across Riven’s face as she offered the bag.

“Thank you.”  The little girl took the bag gratefully. Commander Xan usually comes by every week but I haven’t seen you before.”

Riven didn’t expect to be spoken to, especially like they were familiar. “I’m… new here.”

“I’m Yoonsu. Do you want to be friends?”

The girl was confident to be sure. A confidence that Riven saw as almost commandeering even for a Noxian. Riven’s eyebrows shot up before a grin lit up her face. “I’m Riven and I don’t have many friends.”

“Then we really should be friends now.” Yoonsu paused. “You should play with us! We’re playing tag but I’m pretty fast. It’s alright if you lose.”

Riven chuckled. “How do you know you’ll beat me?”

“Because I’m the fastest and strongest—”

The voice of the priestess cut in. “Yoonsu we have to go now! It’s curfew.”

Yoonsu huffed before looking back at Riven. “We’ll play next time! Bye _Ah-Tei_!” With that, Yoonsu ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, back into the orphanage. Her dark pony tail bouncing with each step.

“ _Ah-Tei_?” Riven mused to herself.

“It means elder sister.” Irelia walked past her and into the cart. Soon they already made the short journey through field and back into the forest.

“Those children… they’re not touched by war.” Riven said. “They’re happy.”

“They make Ionia worth fighting for. They are what I fight for.”

“Was it always like that?”

“Ionia used to be full of balance and peace; where you could simply be in a world without conflict… but nothing like that will last forever.” Irelia continued. “That was the past but now we must fight to restore our lands.”

A silence stretched before them, not uncomfortable but heavy with the truth.

“I’m sorry.” Riven looked down at her hands, calloused and rough with the effects of war.

“Never in my 21 years of life would I think that a Noxian would apologise to me.” Irelia shook her head. “Words are meaningless. I want action.”

The evening continued to pass slowly as they finally arrived at Irelia’s house. The shoji doors were open as they lied on their separate beds, but sleep would not come to Riven.

Moonlight lit the room as Riven stared at the ceiling, silently contemplating the events of the day. She wasn’t sure whether Irelia was asleep but Riven spoke regardless. “Thank you… for helping me.”

Irelia’s eyes remained close, her words left in a slow exhale. “Do not thank me. Thank the Enlightened One. She was the first one to show you mercy.”

“But you were the second. You didn’t have to let me stay. I would have probably rot in that cell had it not been for you.”

“The Enlightened One saw something in you, I want to see it too.”

Irelia’s words brought a small comfort to Riven. With one sentence, Riven had some kind of purpose, a purpose Riven was desperate to prove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically making up Ionian as I go. In essence, the Ionian language is going to be a mix of Asian languages. Can y'all spot which ones? 
> 
> Also, Kontei is the name of the turtle bird.
> 
> Once again, this is a slow burn and the pace of Rivelia is killing me. But there's progress! So, that's something.
> 
> Ngl, GoT was on so I kind of rushed editing. I hope y'all liked it regardless!


	3. Flashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics represent inner thoughts and flashbacks of the characters. Once again, the chapters do bounce between Irelia's POV and Riven's POV. 
> 
> For those who are concerned about updates, please stop asking for when the next update will happen. I'm extremely busy and I will do my best to update. To be honest, while I do appreciate the love my fic is getting, the pressure to update makes me... not wanna update lul.

Something stirred briefly beside her bed. The bed sheets shifted once more and instinctively, Irelia’s hand clenched. Blades floated in the air, silent and ready to strike at will.

Blue eyes caught movement in the futon opposite to hers. Followed by a pained groan.

Beside her, Riven tossed and turned, the sheets lay a tangled mess at her feet.

Irelia sighed, her blades joined together before laying on the ground, just at the side of her futon.

Sweat glimmered atop Riven’s brow as shakes wracked her body. Fingers gripped the sheets, itching to reach for _something_.

Riven’s words were whispered, so soft Irelia could barely hear it. “Please… no… Get away before…”

In the short time they knew each other, Riven would shut her eyes whenever the proof of her past was thrust in reality. But here, in the dead of night, where the barriers of suppression fell away; the soul was laid bare to its guilt.

Irelia never completely forgot of the weight of life she had stolen. Every death was a constant presence no matter what time, day or night. All to protect her homeland. In a way, Irelia was no different than Riven.

Irelia’s hand reached out but before her hand could even graze skin, Riven grabbed her wrist in a tight grip. _She still has the reflexes of a warrior._

Russet eyes are burn with instinct, fight or flight. Irelia knew that look. It was a look that only now was transitioning from dream to reality. At this moment, Riven couldn’t tell whether standing in front of her was a ghost from her past or Irelia herself

“You were having a nightmare.” Irelia’s words are stated as a fact not a question.

Riven’s words came out short and strained. “It is nothing.”

“It doesn’t  sound like ‘nothing’”

“I said it is _nothing.”_ Riven growled.

Irelia sighed before going back to her own futon. _She denies being Noxian and yet she’s just as stubborn_.

Irelia shook off her frustration as her head touched the pillow. For now, she was only a temporary abode until Karma decided otherwise. What Riven did, whether or not she suffered, it was none of Irelia’s business.

At the crack of dawn, Irelia woke already noticing the empty futon beside her. The covers were neatly placed, as if it were never touched and briefly, Irelia wondered if Riven had already left.

Her eyes trailed to the garden only to find Riven gazing at the land, casting a shadow in the rising sun.

The scene was oddly tranquil but there was no time to relax, not when the enemy was beyond the horizon. Riven wasn’t just here to atone and heal, she would have to help Ionia. No matter how big or small the contribution.  

Irelia got to her feet, sweeping away morning fatigue in an instance. “Good. You’re already up. Get dressed, it’s going to be a long ride.”

 

* * *

 

 

Riven expected to see Kontei waiting for them outside but the turtle bird was nowhere to be seen. The cart was empty. Instead Irelia had wandered further and further away from the house, deeper into the forest. 

Only in the thicket of the forest, where the trees cast shadows on their forms, did Irelia finally stop. Blue eyes drifted from tree to tree as if expecting something to just appear. Irelia whistled a simple melody that seemed to resonate in the quiet of the forest.

Moments passed and Irelia just waited until a bush just behind Riven rustled.

Riven jumped, her right hand instinctively going for a blade that was no where, ready to fight in a moment’s notice.

But it wasn’t an ambush that greeted Riven. It was a massive creature, a creature that was at least 6 feet tall with the face and body of a rabbit… yet the antlers of a deer. Atop the back of the creature was a saddle, big enough for two people.

Irelia looked at the creature like it was the most common thing in the world. She petted its cheek affectionately before pulling an apple out of the satchel that lay on the animal’s flank.

Irelia held up the apple as Kuai nibbled on it, occasionally rotating it as the creature ate. “This is _Kuai._ ”

“I’ve never seen anything like him.” Riven said as she stepped closer to the creature.

“I believe the Demacians call his kind a ‘jackalope’” The word was almost foreign on Irelia’s tongue.

Riven silently studied the creature. Short fluffy fur decorated the animal’s form while his legs were thick with muscle. “I see.”

“As funny as it’d be to see you fall off one of these… jackalopes. There’s no time to show you how to ride one so, you’ll be sharing with me.” In one smooth motion, Irelia climbed atop the saddle, her hand outstretched and her gaze expectant. “If you’ve ever ridden a pony, you may be able to ride Kuai.”

Riven tried to put her foot on the stirrup, clumsily trying to heft herself up the saddle. Sensing Riven’s struggle, Irelia tugged her forearm up with a strength Riven didn’t expect.

Despite being raised on a farm, Riven only harvested crops and occasionally took care of chickens. Even in her time as a soldier, journeys were always made on foot. Noxus never spent money on cavalry of any kind. They preferred facing their opponents, one on one in the heat of battle. An animal would only get in the way.

Despite the saddle beneath her, Riven could feel the heat radiating off Kuai. The feet of the creature stepped here and there, already restless.

“I’ve never even ridden a horse before.” Riven said.

“Then hold on tight.”

With one light tap of Irelia’s heel they shot through forest at a breakneck speed.

“HOLY SHI-“ Riven screamed. She didn’t even get the chance to finish her curse, all she could do was tightly cling to Irelia as if she were a lifeline.

Riven’s arms wound tightly around Irelia’s waist as her eyes squeezed close.

Despite the rapid movement of Kuai’s jumps, Riven vaguely noticed the feel of Irelia in her arms. Despite Irelia’s graceful build, she emanated strength. Black locks caressed Riven’s face, carrying the sweet scent of jasmine.

Distantly, Riven felt the vibration of Irelia’s chuckle. With the wind rushing in her ears, Riven wasn’t even sure if she heard it. Yet being able to hear that airy chuckle was refreshing compared to the usual stiffness Irelia had.

“You can open your eyes.” Irelia all but yelled as they darted past a river as Kuai jumped over rock only to land back on soft earth. The jackalopes feet thudded against the Earth as he hopped past fallen tree trunks and rock.

Up and down. Up and down. Riven’s head spun with the movement.

Riven couldn’t see Irelia’s face but she could already _hear_ a smile in that tone. It was a tone that almost made Riven smile had it not been for the near-death experience that was _Kuai_.

She didn’t even realize she had buried her face in Irelia’s back until one eye opened.  The ground blurred beneath them as Kuai continued to speed through the woodland.  Despite all this, Riven had never felt this at peace. So peaceful that she almost forgot where they were heading. She almost forgot about the events that led to this moment.

With every mile that passed, the trees grew sparser and sparser.

“Where are we going?” Riven said.

“Along the western end of Ionia.”

“Why the western end?”

“It’s where one of the Ionian base camps are.”

Riven was silent. Her mind raced at the possibilities. “Do you think they’ll know who I am?”

It was a valid question. A Noxian amongst Ionian soldiers could, at best, cause conflict. At worst, there would be death.

Irelia sighed. “Despite the confidentiality of the tribunal, I would hope so but… talk spreads fast and that never changes no matter where you are.”

Together they travelled further up west, to a place along the border where war rang most. It was almost surreal, being behind what once was enemy lines.

Finally, Kuai slowed down in a place that was almost desolate. Riven was used to the expanse of nature of Ionia. She didn’t expect the earth to be bare, almost void of any life.

The land was recently reclaimed to be sure. Broken pieces of caravans, bent and misshapen laid on the ground. Patches of earth were black while the best parts of the land were merely dirt.

The only thing that could be heard in the distance were the sound of soldiers. Riven was no stranger to the song of steel as warriors trained in the distance. Yet the moment she came into sight, the whole camp seemed to stop.

Despite Riven’s plain garb, she earned stares. Everyone knew who she was. It didn’t matter if it was supposed to be kept private. Word spread like wildfire just as Irelia said, an outsider was amongst them.

Their gazes were unrelenting. Ionian soldiers gazed at Riven, the same way her ghosts would. Some were curious, others awaited what would happen; as if her presence would determine fate itself.

“Why have you all stopped training?” Irelia raised her voice, cutting through the choking silence.

It was a simple sentence, said with the natural command of a leader. But to Riven, those words were like balm to a wound. Instantly soldiers snapped back into action, the song of steel rang louder as the noise gradually rose once more.

Still, Riven could feel eyes on her. Riven took a deep breath, focusing on Irelia’s back as the woman weaved past soldiers and into a small tent that sat in the center of the commotion.

The wind gently blew against the sheets of the tent. Within the tent stood battle-worn men around a wooden table. It didn’t take a genius to know that they were generals. Fixated on the table was a map of Ionia’s border. Just doting the land were red tokens, marking where the Noxian armies were.

Upon entering, several heads turned towards them. The generals gazed at Riven as if a foreign object had just appeared. Some briefly glanced at her only to gaze at Irelia, while others scrutinized Riven’s sheer existence.

An old man, scarred and dressed as if he were ready for battle to ensue was the first one to speak. His eyes were covered by his straw hat, and even then, Riven could feel his open disdain. He didn’t even have to look at Riven. She could already tell.

Without moving from his spot at the table, the man spoke in a gruff voice. “Commander Xan.”

Irelia nodded towards him in greeting. “Commander Tao”

“I see you’ve brought the Exile in tow.”

“She’s here to bring information on the Noxian fleets.” Irelia levelled the man with a stare that whispered of defiance.  “As required by the Enlightened One.”

The old man looked up, brown eyes hardened and open with malice. “And what information can she offer?”

Riven’s hand clenched, her nails cutting crescents in her palm. It was only a few steps away yet it was difficult to move. Slowly, she walked towards the map. The generals studied her quietly, as if every movement was bloodshed waiting to happen.

 “Whatever she can offer, I doubt it would be too useful.”  Commander Tao continued. “Despite the heavy losses… the Noxian forces are dwindling in the west. Hopefully, we’ll have the borders restored in a week or two.”

“You’re wrong.” Riven’s words were quiet yet the room fell silent. 

Riven's eyes rapidly scanned the map. Everything was so very _very_ wrong. At this rate, everything would fall into place, just like Noxus intended it to.

This very instance was simple, a mere discussion of battle plans. Something Riven should have been used yet it awoke memories of her past.

Flashes of _her_ rushed through Riven’s mind. Memories that were based on temptation and selfishness. Memories Riven was desperate to forget.

_Life had been simple, maybe even satisfying before the incident. Riven's fear, her worries faded away with one touch. A touch so light like a whisper on hot flesh._

_Vibrant red hair and green eyes glimmered despite only candlelight illuminating the bedroom. Nails wracked down her side as pleasure was roughly taken… but not unwelcome. The air was heady with lust where the warmth of another body was the only thing that mattered._

_In the aftermath, the woman’s head laid on the juncture of Riven’s shoulder. Slightly calloused hands traced the faded marks along Riven’s stomach; mapping out every scar, every mistake. Riven leaned into the touch, desperate for human contact._

_“It should be easy. Simply extend the borders of Noxus and… leave the rest to me.” The woman commented on the battle plan like it was the weather._

_“Leave the rest to you?”_

_“Well…” The red haired woman hummed, her scarred eye gazing at Riven with something akin to triumph. “With you extending the Noxian border and us constructing those war boats, we should be able to invade the south side much faster”_

_The plan had barely registered to Riven. The memory itself came into fragments. The one thing that mattered was the feel of the woman atop her. Where nothing remained except the sensation of skin against skin._

_4 words, sweet and sinister in their tone, were whispered against Riven’s lips. “Come back to me.”_

_Riven gently swept a lock that had dripped over the woman’s face, only to stop and trace the scar along the woman’s eye._

_The oath Riven swore rang between the two of them. “I always do.”_

_Like a fool, Riven was stubborn; so stubborn and unyielding that when a promise was made... it was always kept._

Riven ground her teeth, trying to will away her memory and calm the beat of her heart.

“I thought that Noxus was trying to expand their border too. But I was wrong.” Riven couldn’t meet their combined gazes, every eye was a reminder of where she was and why she was there. 

“They’re going to strike from the south.” As Riven said this, she met blue eyes. There was a strength about the other woman that seemed to grounding. “The battle along the western border is a distraction.”

“That’s impossible. Why would they invade the south? The weather is treacherous, especially when there are...” Commander Tao paused, looking Riven straight in the eye. “hostiles.”

Despite the tension in the room and the clear disdain coming from the military, Riven had to be clear without faltering. Especially now, when she could stop the destruction of more lives.  “They’re building war boats to combat the weather. I don’t know when they march but Noxus is coming.”

“Our scouts haven’t found anything.”

“That’s because you’ve focused your scouts on the west.” Riven sighed before putting her hand against the weathered map. “If you don’t trust me, that’s fine. But at least send a few scouts to the south—"

“Get your filthy hand away from the map!” Commander Tao smacked Riven’s hand away, the smack itself barely stung but the sound echoed through the tent. “Your presence already defies Ionia itself.”

Riven’s hands balled into a fist, her anger swiftly rising. A voice deep inside Riven roared; the proof of bloodlust, something she desperately tried to repress. _Kill him. Foolish man. Noxian battle plans are already on a platter and he can’t get his head out of his ass._

Instead Riven took a deep breath, trying to suppress the voice of her bloodlust.

Riven gestured towards the map to where blue tokens dotted the western border “None of your scouts were sent to the south.”

Silence pervaded the room before General Tao spoke. Despite his voice being low and level, frustration rang clear. “How do you know all of this to be true?”

 “… You’ll just have to trust me.” Riven knew how her words sounded, they sounded empty in their proof but how could she share what she wasn’t truly willing to admit, let alone understand.

The moment Riven relived her past, would be the moment it choked her.

Those words were the final straw. With the reflexes of a warrior, Riven could already sense that the man’s body would move, only to grab her collar in a tight grip, pulling her up to meet that hardened gaze.

“For all we know, _you’re_ the distraction. You could just be leading us on.” Commander Tao said, his grip tightening against the rough spun cloth of Riven’s shirt. “Let’s say we leave the west side, a place where _Noxus_ has continued to invade and take our armies south… for what?!”

“ENOUGH!” Irelia knocked Tao’s hands aside, the sound of the blow echoed through  the stillness of the tent. “You shame her for the behaviour of her country and yet you act the way a Noxian would.”

Commander Tao swirled towards Irelia, hatred burning clear in his eyes. “Do not begin to compare me to those—”

“Then stop acting like you are above her!” Irelia gazed at the soldiers, a tinge of shame on her features. “If you keep acting this way, then you are no better than _them._ ”

Irelia heaved a sigh. “Clearly, you lack the ability to listen. This meeting is adjourned.”

Generals parted like the sea as Irelia walked out. Riven followed just a step from Irelia who brushed past soldiers who couldn’t quite meet her in the eye. Hours seemed to past before they finally left the suffocating atmosphere of the tent.

The earth muted their footsteps, it was a slight comfort Riven supposed. No one could hear their presence. Softly, she’d leave and none of the hatred could follow her. Only her guilt would be her company.

Irelia was silent as they walked past the war camp and deeper into the forest, her expression unreadable.

They reached the center of the forest, dense with dark green trees. The shade blanketed them from the sun. Vines weaved across the ground as Irelia paused before turning around to meet Riven’s gaze.

“I’m sorry I let it get that far.” The words were spoken quietly, so quietly that Riven wondered whether it was merely the wind whispering. “I didn’t think he’d do that.”

The words shocked Riven. She was expecting Irelia to just carry on with business. She expected to be met with hostility. But an apology? Riven never expected that. It struck a chord, much deeper than it should have.

“It’s not your fault. To be honest, I expected to be met with hostility. It’s understandable after what I’ve—what happened.”  With each word spoken, Riven couldn’t meet blue eyes. Instead her eyes trailed over the ground, the trees, anywhere but the Ionian woman who stood before her.

Something as simple as a faint sense of concern and already, Riven’s guilt crawled up her throat and spoke. Like a parasite waiting to emerge from its host.

Irelia was quiet for a moment and for some reason, that made it all the more worse. They both knew what happened. They both knew the weight of Riven’s past and the death it caused.

“Are you hurt?” Irelia said.

The question startled Riven out of her trance. Concern was another thing she was never used to. She had experienced loyalty from the fleet she commanded. But concern for others had never been a… Noxian quality.

A beat passed before Riven answered. “No.”

Despite her answer, Riven could still feel the tight grip of Commander Tao’s fingers on her shirt. She could still see the hardened hatred in his eyes, a gaze that spoke of loss and vengeance. Riven knew that look well. It was a gaze she grew up with. 

Irelia nodded only to bring her fingers to her lips. She whistled a steady note, loud and clear before Kuai emerged from behind a bush.

Irelia climbed atop the saddle before reaching out a hand. Riven grabbed her hand only to be lifted up as if she weighed nothing at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Irelia didn’t know what to say. The silence was awkward. Even when the sun had set and she dismounted off Kuai, there was tension in the air; as if none of them knew what to say. As if there was nothing that could be said and suddenly, years and years of history were laid bare for both of them to see.

There was no changing what happened but that didn’t change the scars it left behind. Irelia would like to think that they both felt that.

The sky had darkened to purple, where only a couple streaks of pink lit the sky. The moon had already started to shine as they walked towards the house. Occasionally, Irelia would pause to light a lantern, illuminating the darkness that surrounded them.

Riven’s face was blank yet russet eyes were clouded with emotions Irelia couldn’t decipher. It was as if Riven were re-living the events of the day, pondering what would happen if _something_ changed

Irelia gently grasped Riven’s hand, before tugging Riven further towards the garden. “Come on, I know something you can do.”

It was plain to see the life that seemed to flourish, even in the dark. Greenery sprouted from the Earth and if you squinted, you’d even see fruit and flower despite the darkness.  Just beside the door of the house laid a small farmer’s knife, sharp and small.

Irelia grabbed the blade carefully before point the hilt towards Riven. “If you’re going to live here, you might as well pick some vegetables for dinner.”

It was supposed to be said as a joke, something to lighten the awkward tension that laid between them yet Riven’s eyes briefly widened only for that unreadable expression to settle once more.

But before words could be said. Riven grasped the knife, her hand tested the feel of the knife, a small furrow in her brow.

Wordlessly, Riven went to wander further into the jungle where the light of the lantern barely grazed her. Despite the darkness, she harvested what herbs she could find. Clean cuts severed leaf from plant as she gently dropped every herb into a woven basket.

“Sometimes it’s hard to believe you are Noxian.” Irelia quietly spoke, musing to herself.

Riven’s hands froze for a moment before she continued to gather more herbs. “Why do you say that?” Her tone was quiet, as if she were afraid of the answer.

Irelia gazed at Riven’s back, gazing at the hands that continued to harvest. “I expected you to rip the fruit off. Maybe even accidentally crush it in your hands. But here you are. Cutting the herbs with a small farmer’s knife and cradling it.”

“I was raised on a farm in Trevale.”

Irelia’s eyes briefly widened at the small admission. It was the very first time, Riven spoke about her past.

Riven continued. “There weren’t as many fruits as Ionia but we did have a lot of vegetables. Explains why Noxus was known for their stews and steak.”

Irelia couldn’t see Riven’s face in the darkness. Yet for a moment, Irelia thought she could see the shadow of a smile, nostalgic and wistful.

“Were you the only child in the farm?”

“No. There were other orphans there but there was no time to build relationships when everyone was busy trying to survive. Some would succumb to the pressure of war and others… wanted more. _I_ wanted more but maybe…” Riven gazed up to the moon, as if trying to search for the answer. “Maybe I should have just stayed in that farm.”

“But you’re not in that farm now.” Irelia walked closer to Riven but the other woman’s back still faced Irelia. “You’re in Ionia.” 

For a moment Riven was silent, before she spoke once more. Her voice came out as if she were talking to herself, an apparition of her thoughts. “I am, aren’t I?”

A comfortable quiet stretched before them, different from the tension that seemed to follow them after the war meeting.

“That was the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh…” Riven turned her head towards Irelia, a small smile on her lips.

”Hmmm?”

”While we were riding Kuai. I didn’t think you could laugh.”

Irelia harrumphed.  “Contrary to popular belief, I’ve got a great sense of humour.”

“I think you just like to see me suffer.”

“No, I just like being right about the fact that you can’t ride a jackaloupe by yourself.”

Irelia wanted to joke more but when their eyes met, she was reminded of her duty. She wasn’t here to befriend Riven. Irelia had to restore Ionia… or at least what remained of it. And that could only happen if she knew what Noxus was planning.

A brief silence passed and only then did Irelia break the almost comfortable atmosphere with one question.

“Why is Noxus going through the south?” Irelia said.

The question was spoken softly, yet the mask Riven wore fell perfectly in place. She was blank, unreadable. The rift between them grew, any vulnerability that was shown was forgotten.

Irelia continued. “The south is wet and treacherous, especially to outsiders.”

Noxian soldiers had been swallowed whole by the earth only to drown in the shallow marshes. It was as if the land could sense the intent of those who entered. Anyone who threatened Ionia, would face the harsh realty of the Spirits themselves.

“That’s true. The amount of Noxian soldiers that have drowned there is a testament to the fact.” Riven sighed. “But the majority of Ionia’s crops are there. It may be hard to invade but it doesn’t stop them from destroying the land itself.”

Irelia’s gaze hardened. Fury swiftly rising in her form yet her tone was alarmingly calm. “And how will they do that?”

“The same way they killed my fleet and your soldiers.”

Blue eyes widened. The horrific realization suddenly hit Irelia.

Riven spoke once more and Irelia saw the brief moment of breaking within russet eyes. “They’re going to use Zaunite chemicals to destroy the land.”

Idea after idea rushed into her head. The consequences that could happen threatened to drown her. Irelia thought of the soldiers that would die. She thought of the lives that were lost and would be lost. But most of all, Irelia thought of the land.

The gift of the Earth would be soiled, future generations would suffer as the resource that nourished them would only bear poison. All for the sake of Noxus.

“They plan to starve us. Destroy our crops, and just… wait.” Venom coated Irelia’s tone as her fists clenched. “And when all is done, they plan to invade.”

“Yes.”

Riven brow furrowed, tension radiated within her as if each word that had been spoken threatened to crush her. Her gaze travelled to the ground, around the garden, never to land on Irelia.

After a beat Irelia spoke. “When?”

“I wasn’t given an exact date but with the progress of the gas and the war boats… they could come 7 months from now.”

Irelia ran a hand through her hair, gripping raven locks as if that would solve the future destruction of the land. Her head started to pound with the pressure of a headache and for a moment, she couldn’t think, let alone speak.

“I’m sorry.” Riven said.

“I don’t want your apologies. I want your sweat and blood.” Irelia’s hand fell to her side lifelessly before she met Riven’s eyes. Blue eyes met russet in a gaze that was resolute and unwavering.

The innate protectiveness swelled within Irelia and without hesitation, Irelia extended her hand. “You said you wanted to atone? Join me and help save this land.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuai - quick (in Mandarin)
> 
> Also, thanks to my friend @NorahNoggins for getting my creative juices flowing. Granted you predicted the majority of what I was planning but still. Those late night conversations helped me make this chapter <3


	4. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decision is made, one that could shape the very fate of Ionia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over here in Canada, the school year is only starting. I'm happy I could get this chapter finished before uni started. I hope y'all enjoy. 
> 
> Fun fact: I finished this chapter while I was in my office at work.

“You can't ask me that." Riven said.

“Why not? It is the same question Noxus asked you. The only difference is that I’m not asking for power. I just want to help Ionia restore what was its in the first place.”

“Yet Noxus said the same thing. They wanted to 'restore' Noxus into something it was supposed to be. And their ambition had thousands killed, including _your_ people.”

“So what will you do then? Continue to live out your days in peace while there’s a _war_ going on?” Irelia chuckled, a bitter edge sharpening her tone. “Doing nothing will solve nothing. I thought you’d know this.”

 “You of all people should know why I don’t pick up my sword.” Riven sighed, closing her eyes, trying to calm the beat of her heart. “I don't want to kill anymore.”

“You think I want to kill? I never wanted bloodshed but right now… it’s the only way.” Irelia clenched her fists. “We tried to talk to the Noxians peacefully once. And what were we met with? Slaughter.”

“Do you even know what you’re asking of me?” Riven met Irelia’s gaze, russet eyes hardening. “You’re asking me to go against those I commanded.”

“Then you’re just a coward.”

One word. Yet it affected Riven, hitting deeper than she wanted to admit. Once more she’d be running. But would it ever be the right choice? It was as if running would just stall the inevitable. Her demons would always find a way to torture her, creeping in when Riven least expected.

Riven was reminded of her guilt. Of her fear. Triggered only by life taking place. Her demons were unavoidable yet was it really so bad to stall them? To just keep running and repressing. Her life would be a pointless existence but it was the only way Riven knew to survive.

Riven’s tone hardened, anger swiftly rising in her form. “You’re asking me to use bloodshed once more to restore _your_ lands. I was never Ionian. And now, I’m not even Noxian. I want no part in this.”

“I never said I wanted you to fight.” Irelia looked at Riven and for a moment, Irelia's anger seemed to fade slightly. “I don’t think you’d be able to.”

“Then what would you have me do?”

“I’m asking you to help train my soldiers.”          

Riven was stunned, her mouth agape as she tried to control her expression. She was expecting more anger because she wouldn’t submit. Maybe her selfishness would be reprimanded once more. Instead Riven was given a _choice_ , something she never truly had until now.

“I need time.” Riven said. Despite the scales tipping in Noxus' favor, this would be a massive decision, one that could very well shape the future of Ionia.

“I understand.”

 

* * *

 

 

Irelia woke before the sun. Indigo still coated the sky as the sun barely crawl on the horizon, as if the dark conflict of war continued to creep even if it was the start of a new day.

She looked at the futon beside her own. Riven’s face was clear of any stress, sleeping peacefully as if nothing had happened; sleeping as the threat of destruction grew with every second.

The very fact made Irelia angry. The fate of Ionia could be in her favor had it not been for Riven’s cowardice.

She thought of every individual who expected her to lead, of the individuals who believed her word could utter a new era of peace. Finally, Irelia thought of the lives that would be lost if she couldn’t deliver.

Irelia had already given herself to her people and now… now she needed Riven to do the same. But would she?

Irelia rubbed at her face as she tried to calm her emotions. In circumstances like these, she had to be in control and right now the decision wasn’t hers to make. That loss of control made her feel helpless. Within seconds, her mind spiraled.

Anger. Fear. The thousands of expectations that rested on her shoulders.

She needed to clear her head. She needed to _speak_ , unleash the very words that threatened to choke her. The very words Irelia kept hidden. There was only one person who could offer such guidance especially when it came to matters of emotion.

Irelia slipped her armor on, the action almost instinctive, signalling the start of a new day. The press of fabric and metal against her skin was comforting, as if it were a mask that would shield her from the world. It gave her strength when she had none, a barrier of authority for those who needed guidance.

Her footsteps were silent against the wooden floors. As soon as she stepped out, Kontei waited for her by the side of the river as if he could sense her distress. The turtle bird rocked back and forth as a gentle current brushed up against the feathers of his legs.

Irelia climbed in the wagon and soon, she sailed past trees and towards the only person who could ground her once more.

The scent of pine and fresh air was comforting, it brought a sense of clarity as the forest drifted past her. She breathed the air deeply as her head blanked for a moment.

The current barely changed, only now slightly rougher as the small river led into the sea. The wagon boat swayed with the tide as if nature was guiding her towards the one place that could clear her mind. The sun had already started to rise casting light on the tops of the mountains that loomed ahead.

The smell of salt water hit her nose. Distantly, Irelia could see the floating mountains of Navori. She’d seen it a thousand times before and each time it was no less beautiful. Trees sprouted forth from rock as bridges laid between every mountain. 

Ionia would never bend nature to its will. It would never destroy the land and mold it into something that suited their needs. Instead Ionians strove to work _with_ nature. In every piece of architecture, the land gave and the inhabitants would tend to the Earth in compensation. Balance was in everything.

Passing Navori, Irelia could see a beach where the lake met the capital city.

Irelia dismounted from the wagon boat, her footsteps leaving imprints in the sand. Already the waves lapped at any remnant that she was there. Within a few minutes, the sand would be free of imprint, a clean slate.

She trekked through the grass and the expanse of trees only to come across marshes. The water was still and only one house remained in the center of the lake. The lake was quiet as thousands of lotus flowers dotted the water. Each flower was proof of the life that rang through the land, vibrant and cared for.

The lotus gardens were a place of meditation and understanding. Even just being within the area gave Irelia a sense of peace. But understanding is what she sought.

Trees and rock weaved together, forming the only connection between the marsh and the house. Distantly, Irelia remembered crossing this bridge years ago, when she had only seen 14 summers; navigating her role as a leader.

10 years later, and she was lost once more.

Before Irelia could tap on the shoji doors, Karma had already opened them. Without the stuffy air of the council and dressed in casual robes made for a good night’s sleep; Karma was simply Karma and no longer the Enlightened One. At least temporarily.  

Yet those teal eyes were anything but simple. They seemed to know what Irelia thought before Irelia could even open her mouth.

“Your thoughts are clouded.” Karma’s voice rang like chimes in the stillness.

“I know I shouldn’t be surprised whenever you manage to read me but…” Irelia sighed, running a hand through her hair. “The threat of Noxus is growing worse and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Karma studied her carefully. A tanned hand reached out to hold her own. Irelia hadn’t even noticed her fists were clenched, nails biting into the skin of her palm.

“Come inside. News like this should be discussed over tea.” Karma said.

Karma’s house was small, trees crept up from the lake, weaving itself into a house that resembled a temple.

Irelia stepped into the living room, sitting on the cushion just in front of the table. Her thoughts were clouded as she recalled what happened. The inside smelled of pine and incense as the Enlightened One passed her a cup of tea.

The warmth of the cup was grounding as Irelia recounted the events of last night. With each word it was as if Irelia were going through the worst possibility, a possibility that hadn’t even _happened_. It shouldn’t have affected her this much… but it did.

Karma’s face was blank as she took in the news. “So with the threat of Noxus looming, you want the Exile to help us and she’s refused.”

“Yes. And her cowardice frustrates me to no end.” Irelia tried to put force behind her words yet as she described last nights’ argument, she couldn’t call up her familiar anger. Instead the very fact made her sad.

Empathy coated Karma’s tone, a deep understanding that Irelia had yet to achieve “Her mind is shattered. It’s a miracle that she was even willing to talk to you despite what has happened.”

And with just those words, any anger that Irelia felt faded and only guilt remained. She was ashamed of her actions. She was ashamed that she was supposed t be a leader, inspiring those to unify and achieve a goal; yet she had acted like a child because of the pressure on her shoulders.

“Progress can only come with understanding. This decision is not yours to make. Instead we must try and understand why Riven doesn’t want to help.” Karma briefly sipped her tea before meeting Irelia’s gaze. “We cannot push her to do this. Brute force has never solved anything, it only leaves destruction in its wake. Noxus is a prime example of this.”

“I just—I don’t know where to start.” Irelia stared at the tea in her hand, her mind ran in circles, trying to find a solution.

“If she was willing to speak, you must be willing to listen. Show her Ionia, show her what she could be fighting for and what she would be helping.” Karma sighed. “You and I don’t know her very well. She could be like Draven, merely blood hungry. Or there could be something deeper. Only once we come to an understanding, then can we come to a decision.”

Every word was true. But a part of Irelia was afraid. She wanted—no, _needed_ help. Now. Simply listening, putting blind faith in the possibility that could come from understanding was… frightening.

Irelia sighed before standing up and off the cushion. “I think I know what needs to be done.”

She walked down the tree woven bridge and into the wagon, the waves moved languidly and soon, Irelia drifted down the current once more.

 

* * *

 

 

The morning sun continued to beat down on Riven. The heat reminded her of her days spent on Trevale, harvesting corn wherever she could.

But just like Trevale, she had to make the same decision. A decision to fight in some way once more or to merely exist.

Her eyes stung from the light of the sun as the birds chirped just outside. Blearily Riven opened her eyes, spying the empty futon just beside her own.

Riven sighed. She should have expected this.

Before she could dwell on this the shoji doors opened, revealing the person Riven wanted to help but also hide from.

Riven slowly sat up as Irelia came closer to the futon. In her hands was a box wrapped in cloth

Irelia extended her hand, offering the box towards Riven. “Have some.”

Now _that_ was something Riven didn’t expect. She had expected another confrontation. Maybe Irelia would have ordered Riven to fight by Ionia’s side and Riven would be helpless to comply. Instead the Ionian commander came with a peace offering.

This whole situation left Riven speechless.

Irelia carefully unwrapped the box. Within the box were small rice cakes, powdered with flour. Each rice cake had a different colour. Red, green and purple rice cakes were skewered on a bamboo stick, neatly stacked within the wooden box; the very sight had Riven’s mouth watering.

“I—uhh thank you.” Riven hands brushed against Irelia’s as she gently grasped the sweets.

Riven’s eyes rolled back at the first bite. The rice cake was soft and delicious. Filled with some kind of paste that Riven would have never thought of. A bean paste? That was sweet? Usually beans were found in stew so this was interesting.

Riven murmured. “I haven’t had something sweet in years. The closest thing to sweets we had was corn.” It was intended to be a joke but it highlighted just how awkward things were. Riven rubbed the back of her neck, the silence was almost stifling.

“I’m sorry.” For the first time, Irelia couldn’t quite meet Riven’s gaze. Her next words were sincere, a sincerity Riven thought she would never see. “I shouldn’t have tried to force you. I just—I let my emotions… my desperation… get the better of me.”

Irelia’s fist clenched, the frown on her face got deeper. Tension crept subtly along her form but Riven noticed the slight tremble in her arms. At this moment, they had something in common. Riven understood the pressure of having people look up to you, the pressure of expectation to lead into greatness.

“I was the first of Ionia to fight. After seeing my family slaughtered, I did the only thing I thought was right.” Irelia took a breath, steadying her thoughts before the emotions she suppressed could interfere. “And that one action spoke to people. Despite the progress we’ve made since then, it feels like no matter how much I try, Noxus always seems to cause inevitable destruction.”

“It matters.” Riven spoke quietly.

Irelia looked at Riven, as if she never expected Riven to respond to any of this.

“Everything you’ve done up to this point matters. I… You’ve said that Ionia lost balance yet you’ve still showed me kindness.” Riven gently clasped Irelia’s fist into the palm of her hand. “I may not know much about Ionia or the culture. But to me, you’re the most balanced person there is.”

Irelia chuckled yet said nothing, her fist slowly unravelling.

The silence that lay before them was no longer awkward. Instead it was almost comfortable. It made Riven not want to speak for if she spoke, she would break the peace once more. But these words needed to be said. If not now, then never.

“I mean it you know. I… I promise I’ll give you an answer. It’s just that whenever I think of what I’m helping, I can’t help but think of what I’ll be going against.” Riven said.

“Is there anyone you are afraid of?”

“There is none I fear. I only carry guilt.” Riven looked at their intertwined hands, a fragile link between Noxus and Ionia. “I trained those soldiers, and had it not been for the sorcery that guarded my blade; we would have lived and died together.”

Despite knowing that Riven would be helping a country seek what was lost to the greed of Noxus; there was a part of Riven that didn’t want to. A part of her that she was disgusted with. Deep inside, Riven _wanted_ to be a coward. Simply for the selfish reason of not wanting anymore blood on her hands.  

Blue eyes widened at the quiet admission before something akin to sadness set in. “Thank you for telling me this. I’m sorry it had to come to this. If I had to fight my homeland, I don’t think I could live with myself.”

Irelia’s hand briefly squeezed Riven’s before she spoke once more. “I’m not going to force you to fight for Ionia. You’ve already done enough. Whether you choose to stay or leave, the decision rests on you.”

_The decision rests on me._

The sheer fact managed to shock Riven to the core. Despite the circumstances, a small bittersweet smile escaped Riven. “That’s all I ever wanted, and I never realized it until now.”

Riven shook her head. “I never wanted to fight. Nor did I want to waste away on a farm. I just wanted the freedom to be.”

 

* * *

 

 

Days had passed since Irelia had spoken to Riven. The peace of the morning was shattered as the cry of a dragon owl rang through the sky.

Within a second Irelia was on her feet and running towards the sound. Just outside her home, the dragon owl’s feathers flickered from black to red, a warning of what was to come.

Tied on the talons of the bird was a folded parchment paper, blood - fresh and wet - soiled the bottom of the letter.

Riven’s heart pounded at the sight yet Irelia’s hands were steady as she untied the leather. Blue eyes scanned the paper, reading it once, twice before Irelia turned away from the bird and back into her house.

Riven stood up as Irelia entered, already on high alert. “What’s going on?”

Irelia had already started to done her armour, making quick work of the intricate metal that guarded her arms. “We need to go.”

“Go where?”

“To the southeast end. There’s been an invasion by Noxus.”

The colour had drained from Riven’s face. “No…”

“Yes.” Irelia looked at Riven, noticing the slight shakes that wracked Riven’ form. “You don’t have to fight but I’m going to need your help getting the villagers to safety.”

It was a small relief yet still Riven was nervous. She didn’t know if she could bear to see more destruction. Before Riven had been numb to war, the act of killing had lost its importance with every person she slayed.

Only now, when Riven lost everything, did the gravity of her actions hit.

Riven had played a role in this destruction, spilled Ionian blood without a second glance. And now, she would have to watch as the consequences unfurled.

Irelia paused in front of the closet that once hid Riven’s blade. Quickly, she pulled out a small katana. “Take this. I know you may not use it but… just in case.”

The weight of the sword in Riven’s hand had some kind of finality attached to it.

Today she would taste war once more.

Riven’s feet moved but it felt like nothing was her. It was as if she were numb to it as the two of them ran through the forest.

Kuai sat languidly sipping at a stream before his head shot up. Even when RIven climbed up the saddle and the world continued to blurr beneath Kuai’s hooves, she was detached. As if she were merely watching a mirror image of herself go through this.

Only when the scent of burning homes and the cries of pain reach her ears, did the nausea set in.

Riven climbed off the saddle, nearly falling headfirst into the sand as her form started to shake.

The village would have rested on a beautiful oasis where the sky was only a shade darker; yet the clouds had darkened almost black as smoke rang through the sky. Ash soiled what would have been pristine blue water. While small huts rested on the sea, held up by wooden planks and connected by burned bridges.

Irelia ran past Riven, blades floating at the ready as Riven chased at her heels right into the fray of the fight.

“I’ll hold them off, just get the villagers to safety!” Irelia yelled as she delved further into the fires.

The wood was slippery with ash beneath Riven’s feet as the water seemed to morph beneath the wooden planks that made up the walkway. Just up ahead Riven spotted a old man who had collapsed, his figure blurry in the smoke.

Her fingers gripped the flesh of his arm. The moment her hand came in contact Riven pulled back, the man was stone cold. Blood seeped through his clothes, the sign of a fresh kill. He had been old to be sure, his long hair stained grey and red evident as an arrow stood from his chest.

Riven should have been used to bloodshed by now. But just the touch of his flesh while his face froze in horror. It hit too close to home.

She remembered holding one of her soldiers just like this, his body surrendering to toxic fumes. His name was Iain. Noble and slightly arrogant, Riven had tried to save him. Instead his flesh had burned hot before the acid took his life.

The old man that had collapsed in this Ionian village and Iain were completely different. Yet the coldness of their body when life had left them was the same.

It didn’t matter whether they were Noxian or Ionian, they were all victims of war. All for the power that Noxus craved.

The old man’s blood had stained her hands now and his skin was too soft. It reminded Riven of rotting flesh and the pungent smell that came with decay. The very thought made bile rise in Riven’s throat and soon she was retching to the side of the wooden walkway.

Her head spun as Riven vomited the remains of her breakfast. Heavy footsteps approached her but Riven couldn’t move, not in the chaos that trapped her. The sword at her waist was all but forgotten as the mind laid Riven captive.

Riven’s face was blank as she looked at the foot soldier who towered over her.

She never recognized him. The soldier was probably from a different brigade. He was tall, his face covered by the heavy metal of a plain Noxian helm.

The words that sprung from his mouth were open of malice. “I see you’ve joined these mongrels, Lieutenant Riven.”

Before Riven could even open her mouth, the Noxian soldier had landed a hard kick to her ribs. She had already been hyperventilating before then but now, with the breath knocked out of her, she couldn’t breath.

Riven clutched at the area before she was hauled up by the collar of her tunic.

“Look at you. You’re even dressed in their spare scraps of clothing. Shameful.” The soldier’s hand came up, ready strike at the soft skin of Riven’s cheek.

Before his blow could land, a massive wave of water came crashing into him, toppling the soldier into the water.

Riven landed on shaky feet as she stumbled to the side. But what she saw stunned her. No matter how much the soldier tried to escape the grasp of the sea, the water would only submerge him further in its deadly grasp.

Only when the man’s breath was crushed from his form, did the water finally calm into a slow ebb once more. His body floated in the ocean, lifeless.

Before Riven could process what happened, a shrill cry echoed through the chaos. In the distance she saw a small child, running from a soldier.

The pain at her side was all but forgotten as adrenaline guided Riven’s actions. The child looked as if she barely saw seven summers, her hair dusted with ash as she cowered against the front of a hut.

The soldier’s sword was red with blood, and the man who wielded it only seeked praise and destruction. Blood dripped down the blade, past the guard and down his arm as he readied his strike.

Before his blade could cut the soft flesh of the child, it bit into the flesh at Riven’s shoulder. Searing pain followed with that strike and for a moment, Riven couldn’t think of anything else.

The child was cradled against Riven’s front in a protective hold.  Riven’s words came out forced as she struggled to get up. “RUN!” With that she pushed the child in the direction of the forest.

Wordlessly the child ran and soon disappeared in the cloud of dust and ash. A blinding pain wracked Riven’s shoulder as the soldier removed his blade.

Riven closed her eyes, waiting for the blow to come. _At least I saved one person._

The hatred was plain in the soldiers eyes. Wordlessly, Riven knew that the soldier knew nothing of her. It was proof that all that Riven was, from the soldiers that she trained to the family that had been found were gone. And only Riven remained.

Just like always, she would meet death in the face. But this time, there was no runic magic to shield her from its grasp. Instead she was vulnerable to its grasp and Riven was no longer fearful. The blade glinted red but before it could meet flesh once more, a blade pierced through the man’s jugular.

The man clawed at the blade and gasped. He tried to utter something, but his words were gurgled and unintelligible. Within seconds he collapsed lifelessly, the sword clattering to the ground.

Irelia stood just behind him, blue eyes hardened into ice. Irelia rushed towards Riven, looking at the wound that was heavily staining the roughspun cloth of Riven’s tunic. “Spirits, you look awful.”

Riven weakly spoke. “Thanks. That’s the best compliment you’ve given me so far.”

Irelia rolled her eyes before she kneeled down. Riven’s arms wrapped around Irelia’s shoulders. With a surprising amount of strength, Irelia hefted Riven against her back and ran through the village.

The scent of burnt flesh permeated the air and it took all Riven had not to vomit. Instead she buried her face against the crook of Irelia’s shoulder, noting the scent of jasmine mingled with sweat and ash. The scent wasn’t right. Something as sweet as jasmine shouldn’t have been mixed with the scent of war yet here they were.

Past the village and towards the forest was a healer’s tent. Within the tent, the sterile scent of alcohol and blood permeated the air.

Riven saw villagers with varying wounds. Some already in critical condition while others managed to escape with only a few burns.

The world spun beneath Riven’s feet as Irelia gently put her down. A medic went to steady Riven yet still Riven’s legs threatened to give out.

The room slowly went black as her vision blurred yet before Riven could collapse her hand reached out, grabbing Irelia’s forearm in a loose grip.

Russet eyes gazed almost lifelessly at the Commander. “Irelia...”

Irelia shook her head, her expression tinged with a hint of sadness. “I have to go. They need me.”

With that, the world went black.

 

* * *

 

 

A throbbing pain wracked her shoulder as Riven struggled to open her eyes. A thin but soft blanket draped over her form while a lantern dimly lit the tent. She tried to sit up, but the throbbing pain grew sharp.

Eventually Riven gave up as her eyes adjusted to the lighting. It was a small tent to be sure but there was still enough room for the cot and maybe another person.

It was only then Riven noticed that her only covering was the blanket. Gingerly Riven lifted her arm, noting the gauze that wrapped around her shoulder.

Distantly she heard footsteps coming closer to her tent. She knew those footsteps, barely noticeable unless you really tried to listen to the thump against the earth.

 A hand reached into the tent before Irelia spoke just behind the flap of the entrance. “May I come in?”

Riven’s throat was scratchy as if she hadn’t spoken in ages. “Yes.”

Irelia stepped into the tent. A satchel laid at her hip while a bucket rested in her hand. “The healers sent me to clean your wound.”

The dim light cast shadows on Irelia’s face yet her expression was different from the stoic commander that treated her wounds the first time they met. Cool distance was replaced by a faint empathy.

Riven moved to sit up but grimaced at the sharp pain that tore in her shoulder. At in instant Irelia was at her side, a hand coming to support the bare flesh of her back.

Riven hissed at the light pressure. Irelia hadn’t touched the wound but she was damn close, the skin around the wound proved tender.

“Sorry.” Irelia mumbled.

Riven cracked an eye open, expecting the commander to look somewhat sorry. Instead blue eyes scanned the tent, looking anywhere but at Riven.

Red dusted Irelia’s cheeks and it was only then that Riven realized that the blanket had pooled at her waist.

The cot dipped as Irelia sat behind her, carefully peeling the bandages that seemed a little _too_ sticky. Irelia's hands were surprisingly soft as they grazed Riven's skin, the slight scent of jasmine filled the air. The very smell was comforting, Irelia radiated a sort of safety that Riven had not felt in a very long time. 

Irelia exhaled as she tossed the bloodied gauze to the floor before a cool washcloth was pressed against Riven’s scalding flesh. Irelia's touch was tender, as if any more pressure would shatter the peaceful atmosphere. That gentleness with every dab of the washcloth, the care in every caress, it all made Riven's chest ache. 

Irelia’s words were spoken softly as she gently dabbed at the blood that surrounded Riven’s wound. “I heard what happened.”

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“Why would I think that?”

“Because I didn’t fight. When that child was in danger, I couldn’t pick up a blade and fight.”

“You protected that girl and you didn’t spill any blood. I don’t think you’re weak, I think you’re brave. Many a soldier would have killed him without a blink, but you didn’t.”

Irelia exhaled, her hands briefly pausing. “Protecting that child and refusing to spill blood is the most Ionian thing I’ve seen during the battle. I… think you’re quite brave.” Irelia sighed before rummaging through the satchel. “I killed him and maybe that was wrong. Maybe I should have just captured him. But _I_ didn’t.”

“I was—I couldn’t move. When I saw the blood on his blade, it was a reminder of what I’d caused and what further destruction would happen.” Riven paused, trying to forget what happened. She wasn’t there in the midst of battle, she was safe and recovering. “But when I saw that child. I had to protect her.”

Riven rubbed at her face, trying to will the guilt away. “I don’t even know the girl and yet she was another reminder of what I’ve done. I know that girl is an orphan but...  _I_ helped make her into an orphan, just like me.”

Riven continued. “And it’s foolish but I… I thought that maybe I could help someone I previously hurt? Maybe if I protected that child, I could give her a chance at life where there was freedom to choose.”

“You know as well as I what _that_ kind of freedom will require.” Irelia’s words weren’t pointed. Instead Irelia was resigned.

At this moment, they both knew they would never be free; at least not without bloodshed.

There would always be something looming in the distance and once more, they would have to sacrifice themselves for the sake of what was right. Like Irelia, Riven would have to give her being to a country and _trust._ A trust so intimate, it threatened to wreak havoc on the remnants of Riven’s mind.  

“I’m sorry it came to this… I never wanted… I tried to prevent all this from happening but…” It was the first time Riven heard Irelia apologize. And for once, the words Irelia spoke may not have been directed to Riven. Those words were a reflection of the guilt Irelia carried.

As quick as the words were said, Irelia went quiet as she took out a tin. Within the tin was a beige salve that Irelia’s fingers delved in.

The salve was the texture of liquid honey. The cool touch of it against her wound was numbing, providing some relief to the painful ache in her shoulder.

Riven had never had her wounds tended to before. Not even by _her_. Instead whenever there was an injury, Riven would hastily bandage the wound herself before going back to the battlefield.

She had only been here a short time and yet Riven was shown more kindness than she had known in her time at Noxus. Ionia met her with shelter while Irelia had met Riven with understanding.The very fact had managed to shake Riven to her core.

“I’ll help you restore Ionia.”

Irelia’s hand froze for a moment before she laid her head on Riven’s uninjured shoulder. Her breath came in a shaky exhale that made Riven shiver.

Irelia whispered. “You don’t have to pick up your blade.”

“I know. But I must… no matter how painful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That hand holding is gay. That's lesbian activity. They lesbianing together. Excuse my memes because it is 2:22 am as I post this chapter.
> 
> Seriously though, thank you all for leaving kudos and comments. Every response I get is very motivating. The feedback I've gotten is incredible as I've never had that many in-depth comments for a chapter. I hope I did the characters justice. 
> 
> I'm happy their relationship is progressing. I hope that y'all fall in love with these characters as they slowly fall in love with each other.


	5. Recall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo the last chapter of 2019! Happy New Year everyone. I hope you have a very gay 2020. To celebrate, here's a beefy chapter!
> 
> I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter because when I finalized the edits... my computer didn't save. So, I had to start from scratch which was sad. I hope y'all like this regardless.
> 
> Once again, italics represent character thoughts and memories.

Irelia walked towards the garden. “Before you touch my warriors, I want to see what the former lieutenant can do.”

The sky was clear as the sun shone brightly above. The light was almost blinding. 

As soon as Riven recovered, she knew she needed to train. It was Irelia’s idea to spar.

Riven flexed her fingers before shrugging her shoulders.  A slight tug pulled at her right side where the soldier’s blade had cut deep. The grass muffled their footsteps as Riven and Irelia stood in the center of the garden, 4 feet apart

Riven quirked an eyebrow. “Think you can handle it? I won’t go easy on you.” Despite the serious expression Riven wore, a hint of a smile tugged at her lips.

“I’m stronger than I look.”  Irelia said as she went into a fighting stance. “Besides, not all of us can be 100 stone in muscle.”

Riven rolled her eyes. “I’m not 100 stone…”

“But you admit to being heavy?”

“More like I admit to being 7 stone.”

“Look, you didn’t have to carry that kind of weight through a forest and into this house.”

“Fair.”

The day was hot and humid as they circled each other. Not a single blow was exchanged and yet Riven could already see the differences between their movements.

Their stances differed. Riven raised her fists close to her face as she moved on the balls of her feet, her stance like that of a boxer.

Irelia regarded her briefly before she balanced on one leg. The palm of her hand faced Riven while Irelia’s other arm raised to the sky. Despite their difference in stance, the area that faced Riven was always guarded. It was as if Irelia was anticipating whatever would be thrown at her.

Riven was the first to strike, her punch fast but light. And yet the moment Riven moved, Irelia was there to counter the very movement. Irelia’s hand came down, her palm pushing Riven’s fist low while Irelia’s fist was suddenly an inch before Riven’s throat.

Irelia had found an opening just like that. Suddenly, Riven realized that she was not sparring with Irelia; Riven was facing the Commander of Ionia.

“You’re not trying.” Irelia said.

Riven pushed Irelia’s hand away. “I was merely testing the waters.”

They broke apart and once more, circled each other. Riven’s hand lashed out, this time with full speed and Irelia countered. Blow after blow, their fists met but no damage was dealt. Like the magical currents of Ionia, the commander adapted to whatever came.

Irelia was graceful and soon, they moved in a deadly dance where a hit could only be close to landing.

Where Riven tried to grapple Irelia, Irelia would dance just millimeters out of her reach.

It had been so long since Riven felt a thrill from training. It was… _exciting._

Where Riven was brutal efficiency, Irelia was a graceful patience. Riven’s attacks were quick but powerful while Irelia flowed with every move, dodging every hit until she could strike once more. Even when Irelia could strike, Riven’s forearm would already be there to block the blow.

That constant push and pull couldn’t go on forever, soon they both tired; yet Irelia’s moves were still just as crisp and fast. The only tell-tale sign of fatigue was the sweat that dotted her brow.

Riven closed in, already aiming a fist at the commander’s face. Irelia’s palm pushed Riven’s strike to the side but this time, Riven was ready. With that block, there was a brief opening where Irelia’s stomach was unguarded for a split second.

Riven tightly grasped Irelia’s blocking arm before her other fist swiftly aimed for Irelia’s abdomen. But before Riven could even land one hit, a leg came sweeping beneath her and soon, she was falling.

But not without dragging Irelia with her.

Riven planned to spin Irelia mid-air. Perhaps even use the momentum to grapple the Commander to the ground. But Irelia was as slippery as a snake.

They tumbled together on the grass, a mess of limbs as strength versus speed went head to head.

Riven’s muscles already started to burn with trying to pin Irelia with her weight. In this moment, Riven may have been stronger but Irelia was _faster._

Irelia’s limbs twisted, her hands already coming up to grip Riven’s forearms tightly as Irelia bared down with her weight. In one quick movement, Irelia straddled Riven’s hips while her hands pinned Riven’s arms just beside her head.

They were both left panting harshly, breaths intermingling. Adrenaline coursed through Riven’s veins for a second, only to fade as she realized their proximity.

Their faces were close, only a centimeter apart from meeting.

Light continued to shine against the dark of Irelia’s hair. Only now did Riven notice the different shades of blue reflected in Irelia’s eyes, sapphire flecks drifting in an ocean.

Their curves melded against each other while the scent of jasmine filled Riven’s senses. That scent was a reminder of who Irelia was, of the innate protectiveness she radiated.

Riven wanted to hold that body against her own; to bask in a presence that exuded so much safety.

Riven’s heart pounded beneath her chest and she wondered if it was the adrenaline or… something else.

Riven’s gaze shifted between blue eyes before focusing on Irelia’s mouth. A smirk played on Irelia’s lips, her voice coming out hoarse from exhaustion. “I win.”

To Riven, besting the commander didn’t matter anymore. Instead, she was frozen. Silence stretched before them before Irelia’s smirk faded.

That same inquisitive stare as Irelia studied Riven, combined with the adorable furrow of her brows; It all made heat creep up Riven’s neck.

In this moment, Riven forgot their surroundings and everything that lead to this. Instead Riven wanted to see if those lips were as soft as they looked. She wanted to taste jasmine on the tip of her tongue. But most of all, Riven wanted Irelia, in all her entirety.

Blue eyes drifted down to Riven’s lips, lingering for a second only to meet russet eyes once more.

The transition from lust to shock was quick. Irelia’s eyes widened before she hastily pulled away, cheeks already coloring a deep red. Riven already missed the comforting weight of that lean body pressed against her own.

Irelia coughed. Without meeting Riven’s gaze, Irelia held out her hand. “Maybe we should take a break.”

Riven’s eyes widened before she grasped that hand, the grip emanating strength and warmth.

Yet she could barely focus on anything else. Instead Riven’s mind raced with the possibilities of what could be.

Maybe Irelia wanted to kiss her? How should Riven even feel in that position? It left her longing, yet it was impossible. She was here to support Ionia. Nothing else.

Once more, Riven would repress her emotions to do what she thought was right. Nothing could stop that.  

Riven gazed at the hand that gripped her own in a hold that was both a promise and a comfort. _No. It was just a foolish thought. This is all it can be._

 

* * *

 

The wagon boat rocked back and forth along the river. Sunshine had continued to grace the sky for the past few days since that intimate incident.

Irelia sat at the front of the boat, her back facing Riven while her eyes trailed towards the water. The laurels were in her hands as she steered Kontei down the river and to the sea. The stream was calm, but her mind was restless.

That brief moment of intimacy replayed itself in Irelia’s mind. The adrenaline during the fight, the smell of pine and the solid body that laid beneath her… The very memory made Irelia’s head spin.

When they had been sparring, Riven’s strength was evident. Every blocked blow had managed to shake Irelia slightly. But those details paled in comparison to those eyes.

When Riven laid beneath Irelia, russet eyes had looked at her in a sense of wonder; as if Riven were seeing the sun for the first time. No one had ever looked at Irelia like _that._

During her time as commander, Irelia had seen many emotions from her people. Some soldiers hated her no matter what she did, as if her efforts were useless. Other times she saw appreciation in the eyes of the villagers. Yet respect was always reflected within the eyes of her people.

But Riven was different. It felt like Riven had separated Irelia from the Commander. Irelia felt almost vulnerable beneath that gaze and maybe she was. Maybe Irelia hoped that Riven could see her as Irelia and not what Ionia expected her to be.

Irelia glanced at the woman behind her, as if with one glance, Irelia could figure out just what Riven had thought of during _that_ encounter.  

Wind ruffled silver hair despite the braid that tied Riven’s hair back. In this instance, Irelia was almost envious of the air; She wanted undo that braid and run her hands through soft strands.

Irelia wasn’t blind. She would never admit it out loud but… Riven was attractive. From the sharpness of her jaw to the hard muscle that decorated her frame--

“Where are we going?” Riven’s words cut through Irelia’s thoughts.

For a moment, Irelia didn’t know what to say. Her face heated only slightly but her tone was neutral. “To the base camp on the south-side”

The water continued to shift aimlessly. The scenery looked the same but dotting the islands, the people would change as time went by. The very fact made Irelia hopeful. No matter what came, Ionia would adapt and change.

Riven nodded and soon, quiet stretched before them. There was no need to talk as Kontei grazed through the water and onto the sand banks.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks had passed since Noxus attacked and the damage on the south-side was proof of the fact.

Ash dirtied the once pristine sand while pale blue water had turned grey. The huts and boats that once floated in stillness on the water was now in shambles. Dim water lapped at the sand ominously.

The only proof of life were the tents that lay across the line where sand met forest.

Pieces of driftwood littered the beach as Riven and Irelia came closer to the base camp.

Riven felt the weight of those stares as she trudged through the camp. It was as if history were repeating itself and soon, Riven felt like she was stepping into the General’s tent once more, where the only thing that greeted her was conflict.

But instead of going into a tent, they walked towards a group of warriors training on the sand.

Soldiers eyed Riven warily yet none of them met her gaze. The tension was thick as Irelia and Riven stood in front of the warriors.

The waves of the sea rumbled in the background but it did nothing to calm Riven’s nerves.

Irelia’s voice cut through the silence. “We want you to understand the Noxian fighting style. Familiarize yourself with it and prepare.”

Irelia’s tone was different, it was a tone that demanded cooperation. Here, Irelia was the Commander. “The Exile is going to show you how Noxians fight hand to hand. Study both the strengths of weaknesses of their combat.”

A soldier, tall and heavily muscled, interjected. “Commander, I fail to see how a mentally unstable Noxian can help us.”

Irelia turned to the soldier. Despite the height he had on her, Irelia’s gaze was ice. “You would do wise not to question my leadership, Tian.”

“I am not questioning it. I merely want _enlightenment_ on the subject.” Tian’s mannerisms were almost like Draven. The similarity pissed Riven off.

Riven’s hand almost went to where a sword was supposed to be strapped to her back. Instead she grit her teeth, trying to quell her rising temper. “If you seek enlightenment then take it.”

The man stepped toward Riven until he was mere inches away, his form hunkered over her, stinking of sweat and dirt. 

Riven knew it all too well, Tian emitted an intent for violence and revenge. Tian wanted to _beat_ her and the very fact made her flare with a matching anger.

_He knows nothing of what I’m willing to sacrifice._

The soldier’s words were practically spat at her feet, his smirk was a cruel almost malevolent thing. “Is that a challenge?”

Irelia stepped between them. If Riven blinked, she’d miss the flash of Irelia’s blades floating at the ready. “Enough, Tian.”

Tian glanced at the blades pointed towards him before meeting Riven’s gaze. “You heard the Noxian, Commander.  Who knows? Maybe I can show this Noxian the meaning of _enlightenment._ ”

“The Exile was sent here to train you. There is no need for violence.” Irelia said.

Despite the anger coursing through Riven, her voice was level and rational. “Let this be an example for your soldiers.”

Blue eyes flickered between Riven and Tian before Irelia relented with a sigh. “Then we follow Ionian sparring rules. Follow me.”

Irelia drew a circle in the sand, 12 steps in diameter. “If one of you passes the bounds of the circle, the match is over. The victor is the one who remains within the circle.”

Irelia gestured towards the center. “If one of you is unable to move, that person will lose the match. If I see any unnecessary bloodshed, the match will be over.”

Riven nodded, her face was blank yet her heart pounded beneath her chest.

It was all too familiar. A crowd had already gathered. Soldiers surrounded Riven, reflected in their eyes was a curiosity while others eagerly anticipated bloodshed. No matter where Riven went, that aspect of bloodlust would never change.

The urge for violence found its way in the peaceful hearts of the Ionians, the very fact would have made Riven sad if it weren’t for the rising panic in her chest. The very atmosphere was like being in the fighting pits of Noxus once more.

_Riven had been chained immediately once she volunteered to join the army. An old, decrepit man had dragged her by her restraints, urging through the gate and into the pit._

_His voice was gravel when he whispered. “We just need to see how you fight.”_

_The gate closed before Riven could get her bearings, only when she passed the gate did her chains fall to the ground. The crowd roared as Riven was thrust into a blinding light that gave way to a colosseum where anyone was subject to the most basic rule: survival of the fittest._

_This was not sparring. Nor was this was training to better themselves. Riven’s life was now a bargaining chip, a form of entertainment for those who were willing to pay._

_Bodies lay strewn on the dirt floor, their blood pooling around in a dry puddle._

_A girl who had seen 15 summers, almost as many as Riven, had lain on the dirt floor, blank and motionless. Her eyes lifelessly gazed back at the sun as her killer towered over her._

_His face was shadowed by a plain helm as the crowd cried for more bloodshed. The killer’s hand and sword dripped with blood. A current of fear ran through Riven as he slowly walked towards her._

_Riven could barely see his eyes but she could feel his savagery._ He means to kills me.

_She didn’t want to fight but adrenaline coursed through her body._

_Riven’s eyes roamed the fighting pit searching, searching for something, anything. A blade glinted from the body of a short man. The very sight was enough for Riven to run._

_She unsheathed the blade from the dead man’s stomach, the scent of iron already making her stomach churn._

_The unnamed warrior raced towards her, his heavy blade swinging down._

_Riven didn’t remember much except for the pounding of blood in her ears. But what she did remember was rolling away from the blow, the ground scraping against her shins._

_The very blow had dismembered the dead man, half his body cleaved in half by the sheer power of the strike._

_The weight of the sword felt foreign while the grip bit into the skin of Riven’s hand._

_The warrior went to pull his blade from the dead man’s body and this was Riven’s only chance._

_He was big and slow while Riven was small and fast. Riven’s sword pierced through the warrior’s knee, the warrior crumpling to the ground._

_It was as if instinct was the only thing guiding her moves and soon, Riven’s blade slashed at his throat._

_Blood spurted from the wound, spraying a grotesque line across Riven’s face, marking her. She was a killer. No better than the person who laid dying at her feet._

_But there was no time to mourn. Not with all the eyes on her, not from the people who sought blood. Right now, there was only survival._

Riven shook her head. It was different. Ionia was different. This wasn’t a fight to the death, nor was it a test of strength where the main goal was for power and entertainment.

Riven breathed slowly. In and out, willing her heart and head to calm. Her first kill happened years ago, she had no right to feel guilt and panic. Not when Riven had already taken so many lives without even batting an eye.  

She got into her fighting stance, her fists guarding her face as Riven readied herself.

This man wasn’t as swift as Irelia. Nor was he as cunning. His movements were chaotic and choppy.

Tian raised his fist, already aiming for Riven’s cheek.

_Too slow._

His massive hand barely grazed Riven’s cheek as she stepped to the side. Pulling Tian forward, Riven’s fist connected to a spot an inch before his temple.

Tian fell, a big motionless lump of muscle as Riven stood above him. Yet the very sight was no longer enough for Riven, anger still coursed through her veins.

_It’s not enough. He needs to learn the Noxian way!_

This oaf needed to know her suffering, he needed to know the pain he caused. Some twisted part of Riven wanted to beat him until the life faded from his eyes so he would know what she had experienced.

_He needs to know that only the strong survive._

Riven stalked toward the man, a stranger in her own body.

“ENOUGH!” Irelia’s voice was loud, cutting through the dark of Riven’s thoughts.

The savagery and anger left, only to be replaced by shame and sorrow.

It seemed like there was progress, it seemed like she was making a difference. But Riven was wrong. Violence would only evoke more violence, Riven’s conscience was a testament to the fact.

She stepped away from the man as Irelia came towards them. Irelia knelt down and checked Tian’s form for any injury before nodding towards her soldiers. As quick as they crowded, the soldiers gathered his body.

“The Exile is the victor. I hope you’ve learned from this. You are dismissed.” Irelia walked through the circle and past Riven, but not before muttering something so soft, Riven almost didn’t hear those words.

“Come with me.”

Riven nodded, as her brain tried to process what had just happened.

When Irelia had almost vanished within the foliage did Riven move.

 

* * *

 

Irelia walked to a clearing in the forest, close to the camp but enough to be isolated from the bustle of the Ionian base.

Just before the center of the clearing did Irelia pause and turn to Riven. Concern reflected in blue eyes and it almost was enough for Riven to weep. “What happened back there?”

“I… do not know.”

Irelia sighed. “In the short time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you act like that. That rage it’s… scary. You seemed like you were ready to kill him.”

Guilt clawed at Riven’s throat once more. No matter how much she regretted her actions, it’d never change the fact that she was a monster.

Irelia had seen glimpses of Riven’s past through her actions. After everything they went through, Irelia deserved to know the full truth.

Riven’s voice came out a whisper. “Even when I was a child, I was taught that only the strong should survive. In order to become a soldier, I was required to enter the fighting pits. To make killing easier, that same rule was now a fact, engraved in the minds of each participant.”

Fighting pits were always a Noxian culture staple. And only now, with the recent conflict between countries, was it slowly making its way to even Ionia.

Riven had caught glimpses of Ionians in the stands, eager to see Noxian blood spilt; as if it would make a difference.

“How long were you required to fight in the pits?” Irelia asked.

“Until I was deemed worthy.”

Silence met Riven. In the quiet Riven knew that Irelia would finally see her, not as Riven nor as The Exile. Irelia would see Riven for what she was, a monster with a killer’s past.

“Did you mean to kill Tian?”

Riven wanted the Earth to swallow up. She wanted to repress her emotions once more even if the reminders of her past would inevitably claw at her.

But when Riven looked at Irelia, into ocean eyes that reflected a genuine sincerity, Riven knew. _It’s Irelia._

Riven breathed deeply, her words coming out an exhale as her eyes drifted to the ground. “I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t want to kill him.”

Despite Riven already knowing the answer, she needed to ask one last question before her chances of redemption slipped between her fingers. “Do you fear me?”

“No.” Irelia sighed. “Even if you let yourself fall into that state, you still listened to me. And you stopped because in that instance, you knew that what you were doing was wrong.”

Irelia continued. “I don’t think you’re a monster. I think your past has shaped you in ways you’re ashamed of. Despite that, you’re trying to better yourself.”

Irelia gently laid a hand on Riven’s shoulder, a comforting gesture that Riven didn’t deserve. “Ionians have always sought understanding and growth. You’re trying to achieve both and maybe with time, Ionia will see that.”

And just like that, Riven was shown acceptance and empathy once more, from the one person who had every right to hate her.

In this moment, Riven wanted to hold Irelia close as if the Commander were the only anchor tethering her to this earth. She wanted to hold the woman who showed her understanding, who could see the good within her soul.

A part of Riven wanted to believe in the good Irelia saw within her.

Almost cautiously, Riven neared Irelia until their bodies were only an inch apart.  Russet peered into blue eyes, a silent ask for permission.

Riven’s arms came to wrap around the small of Irelia’s waist, pulling the woman closer to her.

Irelia was warm and solid despite the cool air. Black hair caressed Riven’s cheek, carrying with it the scent of jasmine. She let Irelia’s presence wash away the last of her thoughts, only to focus on the feel of the woman in her arms.

“Thank you.” Riven whispered, a small bittersweet smile played on her lips. “There are times when I think you know me better than I know myself.”

“I’m here for you, Riven. Just like how you’re here for me.”

“I want to be there for you.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you wanted to be friends.”

Riven chuckled. “That’s what we are, aren’t we?”

Yet the term ‘friends’ didn’t satisfy Riven. Sure, she wanted to spend time with Irelia but she wanted something… _closer._ She wanted to support Irelia during her lows, she wanted to reciprocate the kindness Irelia showed her.

Irelia’s arms wound around Riven’s shoulders until they were flush against each other. Her words were softly spoken against the shell of Riven’s ear. “Yeah.” 

Riven could feel a strong heartbeat against her own. The very beat was soothing and even if Riven wasn’t asleep, she felt oddly lulled. Irelia’s presence was its own peace.

The seconds seemed to pass all too quickly and soon, Irelia pulled away.

Irelia held out her hand. “Let’s head back.”

 

* * *

 

The sun had already set while the sky was an inky black with barely a star in sight. The trees billowed softly as a cool breeze drifted past them.

Patrol had never been a boring affair for Riven.  She relished the quiet that usually accompanied walking the perimeter, where the only sounds of nature were her only company. With walking there was always enough movement to distract Riven from her thoughts.

It was even more relaxing as Irelia walked just beside her, their footsteps quiet in the dark.

Moonlight lit their path as they traversed through the dense jungle. The trees were exceptionally high, casting thick shadows on their forms.

Irelia’s eyes did not focus slowly on the path, instead they would roam as if they were analyzing every possible movement.

No words were said between them. It was strangely relaxing until Riven had spotted a flash in the corner of her eye.

Riven recognized that technique, a brief flicker before fading into existence. It was one she grew up with, one she fought alongside.

It was foolish. It could have been her eyes playing tricks on her in the dark. And still, Riven _ran._

Nothing had mattered anymore. She couldn’t even hear Irelia’s hurried footfalls following her.

Everything seemed to disappear as she went deeper into the forest. Riven deftly jumped over broken trees and flitted across tangles of roots despite the darkness that surrounded her.

The world seemed to still and so did Riven when shadows warped; only to show blood red hair and green eyes that seemed to glow in the moon light.

A part of Riven wanted to believe that this was an illusion her mind conjured. The figure alone brought back memories, memories Riven desperately wanted to forget.

She wanted to forget the hope Katarina made her feel at the idea of unity. Riven wanted to never recall how far she was willing to go for her own selfish desire. It was foolish to believe in a future that laid on the bodies of orphans.

Katarina languidly lounged on the branch of a tree. The steel glinted sharply as she twirled it around her finger. “You said you’d come back.”

Green eyes bore into Riven’s own. Riven knew that look. It was a look that would never take no for an answer.

“That was before Noxus betrayed me.”

Katarina’s gaze was unrelenting, her head still high. “Noxus never betrayed you. Victory demands sacrifice, Riven. Those deaths were necessary.”

Riven’s stomach churned at the callous dismissal.“I nearly _died_ , Kat. Thousands of my soldiers died and for what? A small portion of Ionian land.”

“When rumours spread that you deserted us, Noxus wanted your head but I can waive all that.” Katarina stood up, her footsteps getting closer to Riven. “You wouldn’t even have to fight in the pit to prove your worth.”

“That doesn’t matter. In the end, Noxus doesn’t care about us. All they care about is power, no matter what the cost.” Riven’s fists clenched. “You’re better off leaving.”

“I am no coward.”

“Ionia will  _never_ surrender." Desperation tinged Riven's tone.  "I’m warning you so you don’t have to go what I went through. You don’t have to see your people die for power.”

“We fight not for power but for unity under Noxus. I thought you’d know this.”

“That’s not unity, it’s dominance. This war is bigger than the both of us. If you choose to stay and fight, you’ll only suffer.” Riven’s hand carded through her hair. “I still care about you, Kat.”

“Then come back to me.” Katarina gestured to the land before them. “We were best together. With your help, we could win this war.”

 “There is no ‘we’ anymore.”

“So, the rumours are true. You fight for Ionia now.”

“I fight to protect Ionia.”

“Then you die as a traitor.” Katarina flashed away from Riven, only to land on the tree she previously sat on. “I won’t kill you now. I’ll wait for when we take Ionia and then you’ll truly see.”

With that, Katarina vanished without even a whisper of sound.

Irelia’s footsteps grew heavier and heavier until the commander stood in front of Riven, worry plain in blue eyes. “What happened?”

“The Noxian fleet is growing and the Sinister Blade is at its helm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sapphic levels are increasing. I REPEAT THERE IS MORE SAPPHIC ACTION. On another note, I wonder what y'all thought of me bringing Kat in here? 
> 
> Thank you so much for your continuous patience and comments (they brighten my day!)
> 
> Side note: this has got to be the most revised chapter I've ever written. There was a scene that was pretty fluffy but it didn't make the final cut because I didn't think it fit. I wanted it to fit because this chapter was so action packed.


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